So when was the last time you lost your patience with your … To answer that, would you be looking at your calendar or the second hand on your watch? The problem with having children is that by
So when was the last time you lost your patience with your children? To answer that, would you be looking at your calendar or the second hand on your watch?
The problem with having children is that by the time youve learned everything you need to know to raise them, theyre almost grown. By the time youre wise enough, youre too tired. One thing I have to say about having children is that it makes you appreciate your own parents.
A frequent source of conflict between children and parents is that they do not think alike, much to the consternation of parents. For instance, I like putting things back where they belong so I can find them the next time I need them. My children dont seem to have this same tendency. When things get out of place, I can easily get out of sorts. But after much trial and error, I realized that its not worth raising your blood pressure over a $40.00 power tool. Nor is it worth damaging the self esteem of your children (now thats an overused word I bet youve heard before)! One way to abate the anger you feel from having your personal possessions and tools strewn out all over the lawn is to remember that its probably divine retribution going back to when you were a child and did the very same things to your parents!
In all honesty, losing your temper is easy. Some people seem to lose it a lot more than others. Incidentally, why is it that those who lose their temper the most always seem to find it again? Maybe it shouldve stayed lost!
Actually, losing your temper is the most counterproductive thing you can do as a parent. Its admitting to your children that youre not in control. But in any dispute between emotion and common sense, it seems that emotion almost always wins out. Maybe your best bet is to try another approach when things start to get tense before you vent your anger. Its easier to maintain control of your temper than to wait until its unleashed and try to reign it back in. Once youve gone past the point of no return, its sort of like jumping off a house and trying to stop halfway. Too late!
Dealing with children isnt supposed to be easy. In case you thought otherwise, your children will subtly remind you over and over again! There will be times that you wont always know the best thing to do, especially when it comes to the issue of discipline. Unfortunately, children dont come with instructions–if they did, you wouldnt have time to read them anyway! Children, however, need some direction from you as a parent. And instruction. And because of time constraints, sometimes parents will skip over the instruction that children need and go straight to the punishment phase.
Regrettably, discipline is a part of every childs upbringing, regardless of how you feel about it. No parent relishes the thought of having to discipline their children so we generally procrastinate doing so until were about to lose control. And thats precisely when we need it the most. So, in order to act in their best interest, it requires that you remain in control of your emotions. Dont be ashamed if you need time to cool off or to get help.
Now I dont claim to be an authority when it comes to raising children but Ive learned a few things from my own personal experiences–or did I really mean to say, tribulations. From my observations, it would appear that raising children is synonymous with raising your voice. Fortunately there is always help available, if youll just buy the latest book some expert wrote! Now, Im not against experts but have you ever noticed that they dont always agree? Maybe they should all get together and read each others books? This way youd only have to read one. I believe in consulting books and getting information but it always has to be in the context of common sense. After all, who really knows youre child better than you?
Relating experiences about childraising doesnt necessarily have to described in technical terms nor does it require a string of degrees to understand. In fact, the last time I checked, they dont even give out a certificate for cleaning the bathroom floor after a sick child threw up at 3:00 A.M. in the morning. Not even when you had to be at work at 6:30 the same day. If they do, then I want mine! No, I didnt get a diploma to hang on my wall nor did I get to walk across a stage with one of those square hats and a tassel.
In our primordial state, we balanced our feelings of frustration or anger by striking out in retribution against whatever caused it. But in the family situation there is no foe to vanquish. So against our invisible feelings of frustration, we sometimes subconsciously designate someone visible to be the foe. When this happens, we feel vindicated by subjecting our children or our spouse to being the object of our anger. This type of reaction only exacerbates a situation where others are depending on you to react in a mature manner.
In summary, you should correct your children because they need it, not because youre angry or lost your patience. Instead of lashing out in frustration against your spouse, seek their support. In the arena of conflict and resolution, there is no foe unless you create one. But there is one consolation. Eventually you will get even with your children. Because one day they will have children of their own. And it will be their turn to appreciate you.
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Don’t know anything about raising children? Your children will teach you! The only problem is that by the time you’ve learned all you need to know, the kids are grown.
Losing your temper is the most counterproductive thing you can do as a parent
sometimes parents will skip over the instruction that children need and go straight to the punishment phase
No parent relishes the thought of having to discipline their children so we generally procrastinate doing so until were about to lose control. And thats precisely when we need it the most.
Raising children shouldnt be synonymous with raising your voice. In the arena of conflict and resolution, there is no foe unless you create one.
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