Why do women feel compelled to play “girl games” even when it usually screws things up? Is there a way around all of this? Is there any hope? You bet! Dr. Neder helps a woman work through her own needs to do this – and get it fixed so she can begin having the relationships she wants – and deserves.

Hey Dr. Neder!

 

I’ve been
reading through some of your answers and one common piece of advice you give
women is to not play stupid games. Girls do it all the time and 9 times out of
10, it completely screws everything up for them and she ends up not getting
what she wants out of the relationship. This all makes complete sense! After
all who wants to be involved with someone that is unpredictable and rude?

 

That being said,
we still feel the need to do it all the time! Even though I know better, I
still sometimes catch myself not picking up the phone when guys call, avoiding
him, etc., etc. I realize from everything that you have written, that I’m just
being stupid, but I’m wondering, why in the world do we do this in the first
place?

 

It doesn’t seem
particularly logical when you stand back and think about it, but that doesn’t
seem to change the fact that girls do it all the time. Why do you think that
is? Fear? Ignorance?  

 

Thanks for the
insight!

 

 

Hello!

 

What an incredibly
great question this is! Thank you for asking! More important, this is an
incredibly smart question to ask – the answer will lead you right to where you
want to go – happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships with high-quality people.
Isn’t that reward worth just about any effort?

 

Let’s start with
this: by playing these “girl games”, you’re not being
“stupid”; although these actions lead directly away from what you
really want. In fact, it’s like you said – you feel compelled to play them. I
get it. It’s very tough for women to NOT do these things because it’s wired
into you. I won’t bore you with all the science behind this, but trust me, it’s
there.

 

This is true of
guys too – there are many things that we want to do naturally that work against
us. Becoming the friend first and not being the strong masculine energy in our
relationships are two of many examples that you know I deal with every day
right here.

 

We have to fight
these natural tendencies in order to have something better – and to be better
partners for the women we love. It’s that realization that makes us want to
seek out better ways – and many guys do.

 

Likewise, women
have to come to the realization that these games work entirely against your own
goals. It’s easy to play them because technology makes it so. Just because
something is easy however doesn’t make it a good choice. Often, the things that
are harder offer greater rewards and this is certainly an example of that fact!

 

In reality, both
fear and ignorance play big rolls in why women do these things, but so does
laziness. It’s difficult to do all the right things in relationship. Trust me,
my guys know this! You girls are far less tolerant of these mistakes we make
than we are of yours.

 

On the flip side
however, playing these games puts you in with guys that will tolerate them
because they usually have no other choice! That’s a huge pool to draw from (a
good thing for you women) but it’s full of “also-rans”. In other
words, the guys that either don’t understand these games or are simply willing
to play them to get what they want aren’t exactly the types of guys that will
make your toes curl if you know what I mean. “Picky” or
“selective” aren’t words I’d use to describe them. “Desperate”
and “pussy” are more like it.

 

If you want a
better type of guy, YOU have to become more worthy of him and the very best
place to start is by demanding of yourself a higher plane of existence. Don’t
settle for “common” or “average” or “like everybody
else”. Demand of yourself to NOT play these games and you’ll instantly
rise above all your sisters that don’t know the difference or simply don’t care
to learn.

 

Best regards…

——————————————————————

Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write
to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com.
Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv.

 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man’s perspective. He has written 14 books (“Being a Man in a Woman’s World™” series) and is working on 2 others. He’s also written hundreds of articles, answered over 26,000 reader/viewer questions and has been on over a thousand radio and TV shows. “Dr. Dennis” is funny, direct and intuitive and has a unique ability to get right to the heart of the issue.

Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com and http://beingaman.tv. You can also follow his micro-blog at: http://twitter.com/dwneder.