Category: Humor Page 1 of 2

Buy the latest collection of summer friendly womens clothing online

Amidst this summer heat and sweaty humidity, the good news is, the latest summer fashion is quite a respite. Already, the market is flooded with summer friendly apparels for women. With refreshing summer colours and patterns, summer fashion will surely blow your mind.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Esha Sahni is well known for sharing life style jeans for women in dubai and fashion products are one of them.Buy leather jackets for women dubai from Dukanee online with free shipping and many more features.

To top it all, a wide variety in all types of summer apparels simply has no comparison, whatsoever.Naturally, with so many options, you are bound to get confused.But a better alternative is to shop online as it is easy.You will definitely have fun with styles and designs which flatter you throughout the season.Go for cotton and cotton blend fabric, (they are must for summer season), but avoid synthetics

The only way to ditch the stuffy season is with clothes which not only build up your outer appearance, but lets you feel at ease as well. Cotton is the most appropriate fabric for womens clothing for summer is because it does not weigh you down.It is cool and casual, soaks sweat easily, but above all, lets your skin breath.The more the summer heat escalates, the more the body craves for comfort and openness.Therefore, the looser your clothes are, the happier you will feel.Tunic, breezy cotton tops, long or short flowing skirts, trousers and maxi-dresses are the best apparel choices for summer.Even while you go off to sleep, loose cotton t-shirts are great choices.However, if you want to experience ultimate comfort, try sleeping in cotton tank tops.

Nevertheless, cool and comfy clothes are just not enough to beat the summer heat. The kind of hues you wear, also matter to a great extent. Needless to say, light colours reflect the heat away from the body and keep you comfy as much as possible. Moreover, light colours seem softer on the eyes, unlike dark shades.Therefore, go for pastel shades, nudes and lot of light greys whether you buy womens clothing online or footwear.Also, welcome summer open ‘feet’; pick strappy sandals or shoes which let your feet breath.Opt for some weather appropriate accessories because without them, no outfit is complete.Shop online to get more choices in accessories than the usual.

These days, every online shopping caters to everybody’s every need.In fact, people feel more comfortable to shop online than devoting hours on retail shops. One of its biggest benefits is convenience.For instance, online shoe shopping will guide you through what’s hot this season.You compare a variety of womens clothing, on the basis of their quality and prices.Also, detailed product images help you make your decision faster.Another benefit of online shopping is that all branded products come at discounted prices.This wayPsychology Articles, the buyer gets a good bargain out of it and an exclusive shopping experience.

The pros and cons of asbestos inhalation

If you’re anything like the bulk of hard working, red blooded americans then you’ve been here before. You were probably rolling around in the pink insulation stuff lining the floors, walls…

If you’re anything like the bulk of hard working, red blooded americans then you’ve been here before. You were probably rolling around in the pink insulation stuff lining the floors, walls and ceiling of your attic. You might have felt a tickle in your throat and thought “Hey, what the heck is the deal with asbestos anyways?”

They just don’t teach you that in school.

What can you believe? Is this asbestos stuff really safe to breathe? Should you avoid breathing altogether? Is there any hope left? This article is intended to help you weigh your options and hopefully help you to make the right choices in your life.

Pros of Inhaling Asbestos No.1: Puns

The first advantage to having lots of asbestos in your lungs is all the puns you can make. For example, next time you’re at the bar with your friends you can say “Hey barkeep! Another round for me and my asbestos friends!” He won’t know what you’re talking about, but your friends will think you’re so funny and they will compliment you on how funny you are. Try to think of some asbestos puns of your very own! It’s ok to take a little while to think of some good ones, people will understand as long as you try your asbestos.

Cons of Inhaling Asbestos No.1: Mesothelioma

Inhaling asbestos is linked to developing a cancer of the pulmonary lining called Mesothelioma. Very little can be done to treat this and you will probably die.

Pros of Inhaling Asbestos No.2: Swagger

If you’re like me, you were always awesome and cool.  But maybe you aren’t like me and you need somebody to tell you about swag. Well, there’s two things you have to know. First, Shakespeare invented the word “swagger”. Second, when you inhale asbestos it never leaves your lungs, ever! Asbestos is totally swag to the max, by the way. It’ll be like having the inside of your lungs completely iced out with diamonds or jewels! If you inhale enough asbestos you’ll start coughing up sparkly blood and people on the street will be all like “Oh my god! Are those lungs Versace?” Technically your lungs won’t be Versace, but no one will know the difference.

Cons of Inhaling Asbestos No.2: Asbestosis

Asbestosis is a chronic lung disease characterized by a scarring of lung tissues, which leads to long-term breathing complications. The disease does not have a cure. You will probably die.

Pros of Inhaling Asbestos No.3: YOLO

You only live once. We’ve always known this. Once you’re born you start living and once you start living you begin the slow crawl to death! Wow! It’d appear that there’s never been a better (or worse) time to inhale a bunch of asbestos. I mean, at a certain point you have to just start living and taking risks. You’ll be surprised how your life may improve if you simply just start saying yes to things! You only live once and to truly live is to not allow ourselves to be destroyed by our mortality. Perhaps, if you are brave, you will not be diminished by it either. YOLO.

Cons of Inhaling Asbestos No.3: Death

Seriously, don’t inhale asbestos. It isn’t funny, there are no pros to inhaling asbestos and you will die. See cons 1 & 2 above.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hey, I’m Gritte. I’m just a lowly blogger with lofty dreams of one day becoming a pokemon master.

Look at this blog:
http://yourmesotheliomalawfirm.com/blogs/

Now look at my lame poetry blog:
youprobablyhaventheardofme.tumblr.com

Hey, I’m Gritte. I’m just a lowly blogger with lofty dreams of one day becoming a pokemon master.

Look at this blog:
http://yourmesotheliomalawfirm.com/blogs/

Now look at my lame poetry blog:
youprobablyhaventheardofme.tumblr.com

How to share your yahoo calendar

In this article I will explain about how to share you Google calendar to other people so that they can see your calendar stuffs like an admin.

In this article I will explain about how to share you Google calendar to other people so that they can see your calendar stuffs like an admin.

Thinking of sharing a calendar with your peers and friends? If yes, this is the perfect time for you to get started with Yahoo calendar; it allows you to create a new layer inside your main account. You can simply create a new calendar layer to maintain the confidentiality of your account, and keep it intact. But how? You don’t need to share the login credentials of your account, which ensures that your Yahoo account is always secure.

Note: contact Yahoo professionals by using Yahoo customer service number for seeking assistance over your technical hassles.

You need to perform the following instructions in the given order carefully:

A window appears with a text box that displays with the New Calendar text already filled in it.

Your new calendar is saved successfully.

Note: you will be able to see your new calendar with its name in the My Calendars section.

The drop down list appears displaying different options.

Note: you need to select the Share option to share the desired specific layer.

A window appears.

Note: there are three types of sharing options in the Sharing section—enabling a public calendar link, inviting people by email, and generating links that can be utilized by your friends to see your calendar in a calendar application or Web browser.

Note: you need to select the invite people by email option, if you want your friends to be able to both view this calendar layer and edit the same. In addition, you can change the settings for every email address that you invite.

The corresponding text boxes for entering your email ID appear once you have selected the Invite people by email option.

Note: you can choose for the contact to both view and change your events.

Note: The Invite person by email option is a great option as it enables you to choose the level of access for every single invitee of yours. Other options including enable my public calendar and generate links are fine if you want your users just to view your calendar and not edit it.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Use Yahoo tech support number to call Yahoo experts and avail their assistance on several technical matters like password recovery, password reset, email not arriving in inbox, email sending problem etc.

Use Yahoo tech support number to call Yahoo experts and avail their assistance on several technical matters like password recovery, password reset, email not arriving in inbox, email sending problem etc.

Hot rods by bob miller

BuCVng C>ur fVrUt h>t r>d may U55m like a monstrous und5rt0kVng. That’s because it is. Well, that’s not exactly true in all cases. Extreamly wealth batcholers seem to just breeze through the process.

BuCVng C>ur fVrUt h>t r>d may U55m like a monstrous und5rt0kVng. That’s because it is. Well, that’s not exactly true in all cases. Extreamly wealth batcholers seem to just breeze through the process.

As you @r>b0blC 0lr50dC kn>w, C>u wVll n55d t> d> U>m5 UtudCVng 0nd h>m5w>rk b5f>r5 C>u buC 0nC type >f collector A0r, and hot rods 0r5 n> exception. Okay, so that goes for finding the right sweetheart as well. The tC@VA0l h>t r>d v0lu5 cannot b5 l>>k5d u@ Vn a price guide, muAh as m>Ut >th5r classic cars A0n. There are general price quotes, but n> h>t rod is Vd5ntVA0l U> these 0r5 >nlC r>ugh estimates. As I write this I am reminded of two thing I wasn’t that interested remembering. One: I did find a hot rod in Mexico, City that was identical to the one I had before it was stolen. Two: While you can only estimate the value of a hot rod, you can pull divorce court records and get a pretty good idea of what the little lady will cost you if you waste her baby’s college fund on a hot rod. Especially, if you block the path to her washer and dryer as I did. She said she thought she had secured the cap on the gallon of bleach she sit on the hood while trying to wiggle through the six foot opening.

If C>u are Ut0rtVng th5 @r>A5UU >f @urAh0UVng a h>t rod, you m0C b5 f0mVlV0r with th5 h>bbC. Y>u may h0v5 a friend or family m5mb5r th0t h0U >n5, or C>u U55 them every year 0t the l>A0l A0r shows. Th5U5 0r5 the first @5>@l5 you want to t0lk t> and 0Uk questions. AUkVng u5UtV>nU lVk5, “h>w did C>u @urAh0U5 >r r5Ut>r5 thVU ride”, and “wh0t would you d> dVff5r5ntlC wh5n buCVng C>ur n5xt rod” wVll lVk5lC start a l>ng A>nv5rU0tV>n wVth a l>t >f v0lu0bl5 information f>r C>u, and possibly a fun Ut>rC 0U well. Then again, it could make you suicidal.

Th5r5 0r5 m0nC respectable online h>t r>d f>rumU 0lU>, but th5r5 VU n> real substitute t> t0lkVng to 0n owner n5xt t> hVU car 0t the auto Uh>w. He m0C want more than wh0t C>ur bank 0AA>unt A0n h0ndl5, and if not, the damn car isn’t worth much in my case.
G>Vng thr>ugh th5 loan process VU n>t difficult, but there are a few thVngU C>u Uh>uld be 0w0r5 of b5f>r5 you start th5 l>0n @r>A5UU. FVrUt >f 0ll, C>u Uh>uld kn>w C>ur Ar5dVt UA>r5 0nd wh5th5r th5r5 are 0nC VUUu5U wVth C>ur Ar5dVt b5f>r5 having the l5nd5r fVnd them. Th5r5 are many credit U5rvVA5U out th5r5, 0nd Vf C>ur credit VU in th5 700’s C>u Uh>uld sail thr>ugh the l>0n @r>A5UU wVth little difficulties. Credit UA>r5U Vn the 600’s may b5 dVA5C, 0nd 0nCthVng b5l>w th0t 0nd you wVll n>t have a Ah0nA5 t> g5t a loan. There are, however, associated risk with providing a seller your credit history. I did that and the guy had a nervous breakdown right then and there. I had to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation and now I think I might be hooked.

It VU hVghlC suggested C>u contact a true A>ll5At>r A0r l5nd5r 0nd not C>ur local bank. Because collector A0r l5nd5rU >nlC d50l with th5U5 tC@5U >f cars, you wVll get b5tt5r U5rvVA5. Th5C kn>w h>w t> value A>ll5AtVbl5U, whereas your b0nk >r l>A0l l5nd5r m0C slow the loan process down as th5C try to 5v0lu0t5 5v5rCthVng. OddU are C>u wVll 0lU> r5A5Vv5 b5tt5r Vnt5r5Ut r0t5U 0nd l>ng5r l>0n t5rmU through a specialty car l5nd5r. It VU not unh50rd of to h0v5 12 C50r l>0n terms on 0n $80,000 car. The m0xVmum l5ngth C>ur b0nk can >ff5r is 6 C50rU. And now with all this high tact stuff out thereBusiness Management Articles, you can’t count on going to another state to avoid the repo guy.

They’re watching.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

If you are interested meeting up with a guy who has survived 75 years in this world without working a full day in his life. All you have to do is visit his favorite watering hole, Our Neighbor Bob website a funny videos cartoons series.

If you are interested meeting up with a guy who has survived 75 years in this world without working a full day in his life. All you have to do is visit his favorite watering hole, Our Neighbor Bob website a funny videos cartoons series.

What the houses of got can teach you about content monetization

Success in online content monetization is a long, hard struggle. It is known. And the net is dark and full of obstacles on your way to profiting from online content creation and curation.

But each publisher is different, just as every GoT house is different. So how would each Great House of The Seven Kingdoms approach online content monetization? And what would their tactics be?

Success in online content monetization is a long, hard struggle. It is known. And the net is dark and full of obstacles on your way to profiting from online content creation and curation.

But each publisher is different, just as every GoT house is different. So how would each Great House of The Seven Kingdoms approach online content monetization? And what would their tactics be?

Success in online content monetization is a long, hard struggle. It is known. And the net is dark and full of obstacles on your way to profiting from online content creation and curation.

The Strategy to The Iron Throne

In many ways, the online publishing arena is similar to the complex web of power struggles between the Great Houses of Westeros. Everyone wants more influence, more people and more money (or tits and wine, if you’re Tyrion). But there’s just not enough for everyone.

As an online publisher or blogger, you have to craft your own throne, in your own kingdom – your niche of choice. And you probably don’t want to use the swords of your vanquished enemies. Just looking at that throne makes our backs hurt. In building your own personal throne you want to use the right combination of skill, optimization and creativity.

But each publisher is different, just as every GoT house is different. So how would each Great House of The Seven Kingdoms approach online content monetization? And what would their tactics be?

House Lannister – Hear Me Roar! – Buzzy Viral Content & Arbitrage

The Lannister house is the wealthiest and fairest (in the show, even the half-man Tyrion is a good looking man), literally sitting on the gold in their mines. Or so they’d like us to think, anyway.

As publishers, their passion for perfection and beauty is likely to draw them toward visual content that catches the eye and light content that goes viral fast. Although pretty and attractive, the goal of the Lannister type publishers is to make money fast and often settle for lesser quality content in favor of more traffic. Some of which they will buy.

House Stark – Winter is Coming – News, Guides & Reviews

The biggest and strongest house in the North is one for tradition. The Starks worship the old Gods and put honor before profit or even life. Their traditionalism doesn’t win them many fans in King’s Landing, but it’s the main reason for the support the Starks get from the smaller houses of the North.

In the publishing world, the Starks are the old-school journalists, still fighting for the honor and integrity of the profession in the changing media landscape. Their niches of choice will often be news, reviews, how-to guides and tutorials.

As publishers of informative and honest content, Stark publishers may shy away from monetization techniques like content marketing to preserve their prestige.

House Tyrell – Growing Strong – Social Media & Original Content

As wealthy as the Lannisters, the Tyrells rule the Reach – the most populated area of Westeros. And they are all about the growth. But as their rose sigil implies – they have their thorns. Another thing the Tyrells are well known for are their luxurious and events in honor of the Seven Gods.

If the Tyrells were to establish a content publishing business, there’s no doubt their power would lie in social media and a large and loyal audience of followers. In addition, by offering hearty meals of quality content and entertainment to the people, the Tyrells are bound to gain more and more followers. And organic growth through viral distribution.

The Tyrells put a lot of importance in ceremony, courteous speech and manners, but in reality, they tend to be very ambitions and are more than likely to stab an enemy in the back than face them in battle.

House Targaryen – Fire and Blood – Thought Leadership

Once, they were the rulers of the Seven Kingdoms and the legends claim they have dragons’ blood in their veins. But it was their hubris that brought them down. And their dragons went extinct.

As publishers, Targaryens would likely be attracted to thought leadership as they believe to be above the Gods themselves. That’s why they could easily become the victims of their own sense of superiority and confidence. They might also rely too much on “doing whatever works” and narrowing their focus too much, creating incestious content creations that can either be hits in their niches, or damage their efforts. Your people will abandon you if you fail too much, no matter how long your name is, Khaleesi. Or how glorious your past is.

The Dragons may look like awesome pets to have, but they can only get you so far. Don’t be an overconfident Targaryen. You don’t really want to step into the fire and discovered you didn’t inherit the fire-proof gene.

House Greyjoy – We Do Not Sow – Content Curation

Far from the intrigues of King’s Landing, live the Greyjoys. Blunt, harsh and weathered by the storms of the Iron Isles, Greyjoys prefer to rob and take than pay for what they want.

These ruthless pirates are not beyond stealing content shamelessly. Or in better cases – just curate content from lesser publishers and live off that alone.

If you suspect you know a publisher like that, be sure to tell them that sowing really isn’t that bad. Grow your own, man!

A Song of Ads and Traffic

As long as there’s digital advertising, the struggle will continue. And much like the nobles of WesterosBusiness Management Articles, you’ll need to be lucky and creative.

Enjoy the full post

Article Tags:
Content Monetization, Online Content

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Head of Marketing Operations at AdNgin. Before coming to AdNgin, I was a marketing professional focused on SAAS business models.

Head of Marketing Operations at AdNgin. Before coming to AdNgin, I was a marketing professional focused on SAAS business models.

It is time to chop

There was a man in a wide field doing some insane streches. He was putting his body in all sorts of positions and if anyone was watching it would have been stone cold crazy to watch. This was happenin…

There was a man in a wide field doing some insane streches. He was putting his body in all sorts of positions and if anyone was watching it would have been stone cold crazy to watch. This was happening in a beautiful green field. This field has lush green grass that is truly eye catching.

This day was a beautful day and the sun was high in the sky. The sky was a awesome blue colour that was great to stare at. Some of the daffodils were even out, making everything look super spectacular.

From there this gentlemen proceeded to drive home to his residence. His house here is an incredible modern building. It is two stories high with a heated spa on the second floor. There is glass wrapped around the entire building ensuring the building gets its fair share of the sun.

The building lit up beatifully and the super modern, simplistic design of the building looked so impressive against the awesome locations it’s in. The thing is this building is right on the edge of the coast. It is right up against the sea, giving it almost a fairytale look.

This building also had a cosy element to it. It was in the middle of nowhere, on one side the ocean and on the other side great expanses of rolling hills and woods.

Throughout the year this residence got to see the stark differences between the seasons. The sweltering summer days are dry and everywhere it is super bright. During the winter it is cosy inside, perfect to snuggle up with snow piled up outside.

The man made it back home and his dog was there to greet him. He went inside and sat on the couch and started watching videos. For most of the year he wasn’t able to do this. Most of the he was stressed out of his mind in his high paying job.

At this point he stood up and went out the front door to his car. In his hands he was carrying an axe. He was about to do something that was going to be a little bit intense.

This place for him is kind of like an escape. He owns a vast property with the property in the middle of nowhere. From the house you cannot see any other building in site. It is full seclusion on a scale that is pretty immense. But he loves it like this. There’s nothing better than to get away from all of it.

He got in his car and drive all the way down the way his long an winding driveway. He finally made it to the front gate and kept on driving for a while. He drove deeper and deeper into the woods and then he stopped and parked his car.

He actually had his dog with him who got out and started to play around a little bit with him. The dog was jumping up and barking and just generally playing around. The man had the axe in his hands and continued to walk into the foliage of the heavy forest. He was on a mission.

He came up next to a super tall tree that was also quite thick. He started to chop away at this building. This guy had lost the plot. It was super intense chopping that made quite a loud noise. Chop, chop, chop. The dog was loving the actionScience Articles, jumping around with his tail waging furiously.

All he cared about at this point was chopping this tree. He had dug a wedge about three inches deep into the tree and then he suddenly stopped. He wasn’t going to keep swinging at this tree. Swinging like crazy.

He walked back towards his car taking his dog and beloved axe with him. After that he drove back home.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

It Scott’s spare time he enjoys listening to music and googling random things.

It Scott’s spare time he enjoys listening to music and googling random things.

Massage dubai lets you urge for more

If you are thinking of the price you have to pay is very minimal and very reasonable as they only charge for the services you have taken.

If you are thinking of the price you have to pay is very minimal and very reasonable as they only charge for the services you have taken.

There is no secret about the fact that Dubai is the most fun city around the globe. This fun city has a knack of providing pleasure to each person who visits there, especially people who visit to the Massage Dubai escort. The Massage girls in Dubai understand each client’s needs and handle them with care and intensity.

The Massage parlors make you extremely comfortable, as they feel a special responsibility to satisfy their clients with everything that they want. These girls are bold and beautiful; to ensure their beauty you must check out adubaimassage.com. These girls serve you massage of various kinds of massages and the magic they have in their touch is amazing. They are a true professional and they are aware of all the points where your senses get heightened.

Why Will The Massage Let You Urge For More?

The Sensual Pleasure: The professionals who would be massaging you are well trained for sensual arousal. Sensual pleasure pleases mind the most and thus, you can unleash the wild dreams as nothing will get on your way. The massage helps you to obtain peace with your mind.

Boosts Energy: Massage Dubai helps you to reduce your fatigue by eliminating blockages in meridians or invisible energy lines of your body. Thus, you become more mental alertness and you feel fresh.

Take Off The Pain On Your Shoulder: As per the researchers, massage therapy can reduce inflammation of skeletal muscle. Stroking, kneading, pressing and caressing are the combination which is the cure to any muscle pain. Even a single technique of massage can get the pain off the shoulder.

Reduces Anxiety

Lessens depression and anxiety, the time you go for a great massage, it lowers the stress-hormone and cortisol while increasing levels of serotonin and the happy-hormone in the body. It also reduces sleep anxiety and in the process, your mind and body generates happy hormones.

Passionate Touch:

Sensuality combined with perfect skills, if you are longing for a passionate and intimate sessions in Massage Dubai, the shower session will delight your time. The ultimate weapon for extra sensation is on your body, the beautiful girls will treat you with a hot and steamy time during your massage. You will be highly pleased with how these girls perform the four hands massage or body to body massage like a pro.

Let the body to body massage give you a delightful session that you will never forget. You get what you need and that can only happen in the most reliable service. Dubai Massage offers the type of service that really calms the mood. Additionally, there can be sections like customer support, about the ladies and other informationArticle Submission, but mostly it is about how everyone can have their own luxury girl in no time. Massage Dubai all gives you the option to call a girl to your place and find out how exciting it will be to have her rubbing your shoulder.

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kiki Fujiwara is a professional author, lives in Dubai, UAE. If you want to find the best Dubai Massage Full Service company without wasting any time with your search, then you should just click on the right link. Visit our website today and make a booking!

Kiki Fujiwara is a professional author, lives in Dubai, UAE. If you want to find the best Dubai Massage Full Service company without wasting any time with your search, then you should just click on the right link. Visit our website today and make a booking!

Where in the world does time go

I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his little stories he loved telling. 

Just the other day I caught myself telling one of my grandchildren, “The older you get the faster time flies.” Then it occurred to me. I am my grandfather. I am not sure how I got here, but here I am.

I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his little stories he loved telling. 

Just the other day I caught myself telling one of my grandchildren, “The older you get the faster time flies.” Then it occurred to me. I am my grandfather. I am not sure how I got here, but here I am.

I remember my grandfather telling me that the older you get the faster time flies. Laughing at him at the time I thought it was another of his little stories he loved telling. 

Just the other day I caught myself telling one of my grandchildren, “The older you get the faster time flies.” Then it occurred to me. I am my grandfather. I am not sure how I got here, but here I am.

It is hard keeping up with things, especially when time ticks by so fast. Just when you think you are all caught up, you realize you have to start it all over again.

I was complaining about this the other day to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Normally, I try not to do any complaining in her presence. She has the ability of turning my complaint upside down and confusing me to the extent that I have no idea what I am complaining about.

In my complaint I said, “Where does time go?”

“Where,” my wife said rather sarcastically, “do you want time to go?”

I had to stop and think about that one. In fact, I am still trying to think about that one. To be rather honest, I do not know where I want time to go. The only thing I do know is, I do not want it to go by so fast. Why can’t time slow down just a little bit, especially as I get older.

In my confused state of mind my wife said, “Would you do me a favor and go to the grocery store and pick up some items? I just don’t have enough time to do it myself.”

Whenever my wife asked me to do her a “favor,” I believe there should be some kind of a recompense for my time. After all, my time is valuable, at least to me it is.

So, I said, “Would you mind…” and my wife interrupted, “Yes, I would, just get what is on the list. I need it tonight.”

Being of a husband mentality, all I really heard her say was “yes.”

As I was headed out the door, I heard her say, “And hurry, I need that stuff for this evening.”

I looked at the list and there were about 12 items she wanted me to get at the grocery store.

Because time was of the essence, I tried to hurry us much as I could. In Pennsylvania we have an old saying that says, “The hurrier I go the behinder I get.” Believe me, much of my life has been in the behinder category.

Before starting out, I glanced at the list to make sure I knew what she wanted. I got to the grocery store, parked my vehicle and then went in and got a shopping cart and started my journey of shopping. Which I really, really hate. Shopping is not a favorite thing of mine.

Starting up the first aisle, I grabbed for the shopping list to see what my first item would be. I checked my shirt pocket, no shopping list. I searched all of my pockets and much to my chagrin, no shopping list.

I may have left it in my vehicle, but since time was of the essence, I did not have time to go back to try to look for it. I thought I could do everything from memory. After all, I do not use my memory that often so I should be in good standing.

I threw about six items in the shopping cart and then looked at my watch. I was running out of time. Time goes so quickly when you are trying to remember something, especially your wife’s shopping list.

Knowing there were around 12 items on the shopping list I sank into panic mode. What were those other six items? For the life of me, I could not remember.

I did have an option I thought about. I could call my wife on my cell phone and ask her to text me the list. Then, I would be in trouble because I would not have enough time to call her and then get the items and get home in time.

I tried to put in things I thought were on the list, but it was getting late. Time was running out.

Then I did something I would later regret. Headed towards the checkout line, I passed the bakery where they had Apple fritters on sale. Without even stopping, because time was getting away from me, I grabbed two apple fritters and threw them in the shopping cart 

Why I did that, who knows.

When I brought all the items from the grocery store and put them on the kitchen table, my wife looked them over and informed me that I only got two items on her list. “Why didn’t you get the rest of the items?”

All I could say was, “I’m sorry, time got away from me.” Believe me when I say, that will be the last time I use that excuse.

I could not help but think of a verse of Scripture. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Everybody has the same amount of time; it’s how you use that time that really makes the difference. Time, as I have discovered, is no excuse for not getting something done.

 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

A suspicious mind is a terrible thing to waste

I have discovered over the years several types of minds. The “open mind” which catches everything except the truth. The “analytical mind” which organizes everything to the poin…

I have discovered over the years several types of minds. The “open mind” which catches everything except the truth. The “analytical mind” which organizes everything to the point of sterility. The “closed mind” which you can bounce ideas and they never stick.

For every man, there is the “woman’s mind.” Every husband knows if he wants to change his wife’s mind, all he has to do is agree with her. Finally, the “political mind,” which for all practical purposes is an oxymoron. Politicians obviously do not have a mind of their own. They change their mind so often you hardly know who they are.

I find most people’s minds are like beds – all made up and tucked neatly away. Many of these people have sound minds – sound asleep, that is.

The most valuable mind is the suspicious mind. It is in this frame of mind that the real picture has developed for me. An incident several years ago illustrated this to me.

We received one of those calls every American gets at least once a month. An invitation to come to Daytona Beach and spend two nights at a motel on the beach. The sponsor even offered to throw in breakfast, which we promptly threw out (or was it “up?”).

It all sounded wonderful. My wife and I had never stayed on the beach and thought it would be an excellent opportunity. Eagerly we said “yes” thrilled with the prospect.

“Oh, by the way,” the young woman on the telephone said, “you will be required to listen to a 90-minute presentation.”

It was then my suspicious mind kicked in. To be more honest, the kick came from my wife, who had the suspicious mind.

“Is there anything we have to buy?” my wife made me ask the delightful woman on the telephone.

“Absolutely nothing,” she said so cheerily, I believed her. My wife, “Miss Suspicion,” did not buy it for a second.

Finally, I convinced her to go and I arranged with the woman on the telephone for the two nights on the beach.

Looking back on this incident, I realize a suspicious mind does come in handy.

I must confess (which is hard for me to do) my wife’s suspicious mind has saved us from a few potentially disastrous situations. (But you didn’t hear it from me.)

When we arrived at the Daytona Beach office, they greeted us most graciously. I was smiling a smile that said, “See, I told you this was going to be great.”

The cordial receptionist gave us a key to our room and easy-to-follow directions to our motel on the beach and, best of all, coupons for supper for two at a fancy restaurant.

So far, everything promised to be a magnificent adventure.

Just as I picked up the key, the lady reminded us of the 90-minute presentation. We had to sign up for a time that was “convenient for y’all.”

All I could see was that gregarious smile and the beach. As the glaze thickened over my eyes, I signed up. Then we were off.

While I was smiling, my wife was mumbling something like, “This is a mistake. I know there is a catch somewhere. Nothing is free.”

Being the sophisticated husband I am with a vast, cultivated vocabulary at my disposal, I said nothing.

There is a time to speak, but every husband knows it is usually not when in the presence of his wife.

We had a great time. The beach was wonderful and late that night we enjoyed a marvelous supper. Everything was going along quite nicely and we drifted off to sleep listening to the waves rhythmically massage the beach outside our window.

Then the time came for the 90-minute presentation. It was quite educational. I learned my wife was right all along.

The “catch” she worried about was called a “timeshare.”

Timeshare is an interesting concept. First, you must buy a week (or two if you like). At that point, I was ready to sign up. My pen was dripping ink ready to sign anything, anywhere

Then my wife began asking questions. It’s a good thing she did.

That is when we learned another thing about timeshares. After one buys a week, the cost has just begun. Of course, they told us, we must pay property taxes on “our property.” Then there are monthly maintenance fees and insurance premiums. We learned the word “share” in timeshare means we share all our money with them.

By the time she finished her presentation, there were more fees on our timeshare than fleas on a West Virginia hound dog.

That was not the worst of it though. When our week came, we were expected to “rent” our own room to stay in it. When the woman got through with her 90-minute presentation (which actually took three hours), timeshare made as much sense to me as renting underwear.

There are times when a suspicious mind does come in handy, but not always. Sometimes I appreciate trusting someone without any fear. But, who?

The antidote for a suspicious mind is found in the Bible. The Old Testament prophet understood this when he wrote, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3).

There are many things to be suspicious about, but when I come to Jesus ChristComputer Technology Articles, I can relax. He gives me peace of mind because He is easy to trust.

 

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

Go ahead call me if you dare

I don’t think it was in the mind of Dr. Bell when he invented the telephone for people like me to be harassed by people who are only after my money. Don’t get me wrong here. The telephone has be…

I don’t think it was in the mind of Dr. Bell when he invented the telephone for people like me to be harassed by people who are only after my money. Don’t get me wrong here. The telephone has been a great blessing to many people. But lately, the wrong people have my number. 

It finally came to a head this past week. At least as far as I was concerned.

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I had a very busy week and by Thursday we had accomplished a lot, or at least we thought we had. We had lunch with a very good friend and enjoyed ourselves tremendously. 

On our way home from lunch I mentioned the fact to my wife that I was feeling very tired and I probably could do with a Power Nap, as they call them today. She just looked at me and said, “Go ahead and get your nap in.”

Being the husband that I am, I always obey my wife. And so, off to the parsonage I headed to get in a well-deserved, at least I thought it was, Power Nap to rejuvenate what little energy I had left.

Nothing feels better to me than stretching out on my easy chair, closing my eyes and drifting off into Lala land, of which I am a frequent visitor.

I am not quite sure how long I was sleeping, but suddenly I heard a weird noise that awakened me. That weird noise was the telephone ringing. I never know who’s calling and I never know if it might be important, so I answered the phone.

I am so tired of getting telephone calls that just interrupts my day. I get calls from somebody who has a solution for my student loan and how to pay it off. I never went to college and therefore I don’t have a student loan. At my age, if I had a student loan it would be a tragic situation.

The call was from some health agency that had a deep concern about my health. More particularly, they had solutions for pains that I was experiencing.

“I understand,” the person on the other end of the telephone said very businesslike, “that you are having problems with pain in your body.”

I do not know where he got that understanding or why he would be interested in any of my pain.

“No, sir,” I said with a healthy yawn, “there ain’t no pain here.”

“Is there someone in your house,” he went on to say, “that has some back pain?”

Without giving me time to respond, he continued, “I believe you qualify for one of our back braces to help manage your back pain.”

“No, sir,” I said most pathetically, “nobody here has that kind of pain.”

Not hindered in his salesman pitch, he said, “Is there someone in your home that has an ankle pain? I have a wonderful solution that I would like to send you to deal with that pain?”

I still was a little dizzy because of being awakened from my Power Nap that I was not quite able to comprehend what he was talking about. He just kept on talking.

Finally, he said, “What kind of pain does anybody in your household have that we could address today?”

Obviously, he had solutions for pain, but the problem was I did not have any pain for him to address.

I was about to hang up on him when a few gray cells woke up from their Power Nap and nudged me with a thought.

“Now that you mentioned it,” I said as seriously as possible, “there is a pain here that perhaps you could help me with.”

“Yes, sir,” he said most enthusiastically, “we want to help you with all the pain that you might have. How can we help you today? What is your pain?”

“Well, sir,” I said rather slowly, “I have this throbbing pain in my neck. How in the world can you help me with that?”

I noticed his pause at the other end of the telephone. Then I heard the question I was waiting for.

“Where did you get this pain in the neck? And how in the world can I help?”

Without any pause, I jumped in and said, “My pain in the neck is from people like you calling me and disturbing me in my nap. The only way you can help me is to quit calling me!”

[Click]

With that click, he cured my pain in the neck. If all pain could be solved that quickly this world would be a much better place I am sure.

A little while later my wife came into the parsonage, took one look at me and said, “Why do you look so happy? Did your nap work for you today?”

“No,” I said with a little giggle, “I just got rid of a pain in the neck.”

I could not help but think of one of my favorite Proverbs. “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

With all the agitation in the world, a person is sometimes tempted to get all caught up with bitterness and anger. I have learned the hard way, that the best way to deal with agitation is to make fun of it so that somebody laughsHealth Fitness Articles, particularly me.

 

Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.

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